I Suck At Summaries
by tiffaninichole
Summary: Because making fun of 12-year-olds is fun... Rated M for LEMMENS & MANSLASH! Dont like dont  read! No flames!
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

In my quest to find a new fic to read, I came across a LOT of ridiculousness. Horrible spelling, despicable grammar, atrocious punctuation and coma-inducing storylines.

I'm forever traumatized :'-(

This is just my making fun of the stupid shit people come up with. Complete crackfic fuckery. Will this continue into a full story? Who the hell knows. Maybe if enough interest is shown :-)

I don't own Twilight. If I did, I'd be in the middle of an Edward and Jasper sandwich. Yum!

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**13 Year Old Writer's POV:**

Bella Swan was 16 year's old and she was bad. She lives with her mom renee and she was always smoking and sneaking out. she like to drunk a lot. she is a out of control teenager. One day bella snuck out to a party and she loved stripping and when she got to the party she started stripping, because she like to do that and it was real fun.

"yeah baby shake that ass in my face because I love it when you do that!" mike Newton said to Bella as she shaked her ass for the crowd,

"Bella Swan, your so sexy, damn girl woooo!" Tyler crowley said to bella because he liked it when she went stripping at the cool kid partys.

Bella was done strip because she wants to drink and so she said "fuck this I wanna get my drink on!"

And so she walks to the bar to get a drink and she drinks a lot and gets drunk and wild.

She was having a three some with Jacob black and embry. It was so hot. Bella swan was so wet and so tight and jacob black smacked her ass and bella swan moaned because she likes it rough.

Bella was sucking on Embrys cock and she was deepthroating his cock and his cock was hitting the back of her throat and he cum in her mouth and she swollows because its hot. And jake was doing her doggy style with his big huge cock. He stretched her pussy because his cock was huge and bella was moaning and screaming because it felt so fucking good too her.

"ISABELLA WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

Bella swan truned her head and saw renee her mom standing in the door way.

"mom! What the hell are your doin here. How you know I was here. What do you care anyways!" bella yelled because shes an out of control teenager.

"I have had enough Isabella marie swan! I am sending you to live with you're dad in forks washington, Charlie Swan. You are to out of control and I can not be stressed all of the time like this. You need to leave my house because I am tried of this!" renee yelled.

"fine ill leave I don't care I hate you, I can't wait too leave because I hate you and yours a bad mother and I just want to drink and fuck. What is the big damn deal its not like im a crackhead. Its my life and none of you're business what I do when I want to do it!" bella yelled at her mom renee.

Bella swan ran home and cried because she was so mad renee is such a stupid hating bitch. The nex day Rennee had bella's stuff packing in boxes and she sent bella on a plain to forks washington.

"Bella I love you your my baby and you will thank me one day for this you will see."

"whatevs mom. I hate you and hate Phil dwyer and lame florida and I will hate forks to. I will never forgive you for taking away my life from me when I just want to have fun and smoke and drink and have sex!" Bella screamed and tears were falling down her face because she was so mad.

They called her plain number and bella got on the plain to forks washington leaving her old life behind her.

**Random Reader POV:**

WTF?! O_O

**EPOV Written By 13 Year Old:**

I am a vampire and I live on Forks Washington dc. A lot of girl's want to fuck me but I don't want too fuck them. I have a secret that would rock this town to the core. Me and jasper and carlisle have sex because we are all bisexual. Noone nows our secret and noone can ever know it. Poor esme I feel badly for her but fucking jasper and Carlisle cullen is great. Sometimes we have sex with rose and Alice to and its so fucking hot.

Anyways, today a new girl is coming to here and everybody is talking about her. Maybe if shes hot she can join us for a big hot orgy.

_Edward what are you thinking _said alice to edwards head because he heard peoples thinking.

_Edward I know that your going to like the new girl and you will have a lot of sex with her. Can I join you_ Alice said to my head again.

Then I saw her her name was Bella Swan I heard her name in other peoples head. and she was so fucking hot with her pouty lips and very long eyelashes and she has on fuck me heels.

I think I love her. my dick is really hard right as I see her. Holy fuck.

_I told you _Alice said to inside my head,

**Beta POV:  
***head exploding*

**13 Year Old's A/N**:

So theres my first chapter! There is a lot more lemony goodness to come if you review for me! Click that button and let me know how you like it :-)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

**Hi you guy's! I like the revews I got for then last chapter so thank you for likeing what I write and thinking it gret. **

**Warning! There is man slash sex Lemon orgy in this chpter. If yuo dont like man Slash sex or orgyes or hot stuff than you need To leave. No flames! **

**I do not own twilite, but I make the People in the book Do awesome sex And lemons :-)**

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EPROV:

Fucking Bella Swan. I cant get her out of my Head everywher I go and evrything I do make me Think of her all the time. This is only the frist day And shes made her way in to my heart. She looks at me and seen into my sole and made my heart go Flutter flutter flip.

I go home and im mad at bella Swan For doing this to me Because no human can effect me liek this. I am a goddamn immortel and better then a weekling human persen. I now what I have to do too forget About Bella swan. I call my "dad" Carlile Cullen we have to pretend that esmy and him Are are parent So poeple wil not get suspishus about Us being vampirs.

"hi dad its Me Edward"

"Oh hello edward what a nice and plesent supryse I was just think of you"

"what did you think of me" I breath sexily in the phone

"Well I cant say right now sense I am at work at the fork's hospital, how about I show yuo in 10 minutes when im home" he says to me whispering really sexy and making me cock hard.

"hurry home so you can show me then"

"Fuck Edward You make me so fucking hrd"

"ill be Waiting" I say to him before hanging up.

I run to the shower and hurry up and shower using my incredibl vampire speed wich is really really fast and humens can not see it becase its really really fast. When i am done I look in the mirror and fix my sex hair and look at my pouty sexy lips. Carlsle loves my lips when there wrapped around his cock.

Jasper come in my room and see me getting dress and looking really sexy

"I can feel you're Emotions edward cullen and your making me horny" jasper is behind me and rubbing his cock on my ass.

"I get Ready for Carlisle Hes coming home in a few minutes" I moan when jasper gently Bite my neck

"you to were Not going to invite me" he says to my ear

"you can come"

" I know I can and I will _cum _in you a lot of Times."

"ungh" I say. Jasper cullen is So sexy

I hear Carliles car outside and my cock gets as Hard as a diamond. Jasper grabbed my huge cock in his hand and drops on his knees.

"I was wanna do this all day long" he say to me before putting my cock in his mouth. Me eyes pops out of my head.

"oh fuck that felt so good jasper do not stop" I moan out loud. I here Carlisles thinking In my brain and he is mad that we did not Wait for him. Him wants to fuck us so bad and he is Thinking about how hard his cock was.

"Why did you too didn't wait fore me? Edward I Told you I was Coming"

"Come here carlisle cullen" I whisper and he came over to me slowly and I culd see his hard cock in his pants and I want to Fuck it.

"do not be mad at me baby we"re all Hear now and im gonna Make you feel so good."

I pulls his pants down and his cock popped out and it is so huge my mouth waters and I wanna suck his cock. He hass pre cum on the tip of his cock.

"bend over" I said To carlise, he bends over I I hardly push my big cock into his ass balls deep.

"ARRRRRG" Carlise scream when he felt my really big cock in him and I slide it in and out really hard and pounding into his tight hole.

Carlsie sucks Jasper dick while im fucking him and its so hot. Sudenly our cloths are gone and I don't care because this is so fucking hot. All of a sudden there are cocks And finger and mouths everywhere all around and we are all fucking and sucking and fingering and screaming because all of these cocks are so hard nd so good. And now ther are more cocks out of no where and this is a big slash Orgy lemon.

Cocks are in my face And I suckthem all and fucking them and making them Screem and we all Cum so hard at the same time and I feel So good and its so hot.

"OMG WHAT IS GOING ON HEAR"

I hear a beautyful voice and know its bella Swan.

"EDWARD I LOVE YOUWE ARE SOLEMATE HOW COULD YUO DO THIS TO ME"

FUCK! It was not supposed To be like this, Belle was not supposd to know about the men slash lemons!

"bella I love you to wait don't leaf." I yell to her while I pull my Calvin Cline jeans on that Alice Pick for me.

When I run to her down the stairs of my home I see her Glowing real bright like a star. She so bright i have too Squint me eyes.

"bella Swan why are you glwoing like a angel like that. You look real shiney" I ask her with my voice wabbly like im gonna cry because I do not wanna loose her. But I cant cry bcasue im a vampire and we cannot cry becase are bodie's are froze in time. My body is from 1918 and it is freeze there when carlie cullen Changed me into a monster.

Bella Truned around with her face streaks with lots of tears and her nose was read from Cry and it broke my monster heart too see her cryeing hot salt tears beucase of me.

"ihave super power edward. I Am not just a humen. I am a angel and a Shape shifter that is why you cannot read my brain. Now leav me alone I hate you and I do not eer want too see yuor face agin"

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**Do you liek my twsit and cliffhanger? Bella was not just a humen like everyone think she is. Do you thought she will fourgive edWard Cullin?**

**Did you like the men slash lemon?**** I like makeing men slash with alot of cocks because that is what I like to imagine because I thought its sexy.**

**Push that button and ttell me how you like it and I will add a extra lemon in my next chapter just for you! :-)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi evrone! Sorry for makeing you all wate for a whole lot of time. I fourgot about this store! LOL!**

**I been taking a online free writing class and it be making me write better so hopefully you'll all will see a big improv!**

**Here we goooooooooooo!**

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EPROV

"OMG, your a angle?" I ask to Bella because I couldn't belief it.

No wonder I love her so much because she is a beautiul angle. Wow, when I thought of her all naked and hot with her feather wings and tits and nipples all over, it makes me really hard and I grab my cock and start stroking on it. My cock is really big.

Yes Im can have wings and stuff but I hide them because I like to fitting in with humans." She look sad when she say that and it made me sad a whole lot that she sad because of me.

But then she look at my humungus rock hard sexy cock and she lick her lips. Oh yeah baby come and get it, I think in my head.

"Isabelle please do not be made with me. I love you after only a day and its crazy but its True and what you seen back thefre was nothing at all. it was only a man sex Orgy lemon I do not love them. Please be happy to me Because im happy to you.""

She groans when she saw me jacking my steel hard cock and then she got down on her hot angle knees and opens her mouth wide. "i'm am not mad any more. I just want to be suck your Cock in my hot wet mouth."

"Oh yeah baby, Suck my cock a lot." I say to her and I look down at her and hefr eyes are hooded with lust and I smell her heavenly arousal because her arousal is really heavenly because she a angl and my eyes turn black with pure needful lust.

She groan again and shoves me cock down her throat.

"FUCK YEAH OH FUCK! HELL YES THAT FEELS SO AWESOME AND GOOD AND YOUR MOUTH IS SO HOT AND GOOD! I yell because it feels so incredible good.

Out the corner from my speedy vampir Eyes I see carlyl shove his cock in Japser Cullens ass and Japser cried out and they were watching me And Bella and they were licking there lips at me because they are so horny and turned on. Bella was on her angl knees and she looks so sexy and Carly is fucking Jazz ass hard and fast. I grab bella hair hard and hump her face until my huge cock is almost in her stomach, its that deep inside her throat. I keep watching everthin around me because everyhing is hot. Jasper Hale strated jacking off his cock and he cums all over the table in front of him and he screams and Carlils slaps his ass so hard and he cums in Jass butthole and yells. And seeing that made me cum down Bella Swans throat. I cum so hard and scream! " BELLA SWAN I'M CUMING! SWALLOW ALL OF MY VAMPIRE SEED DOWN YOUR THROAT! Oh yea baby!"

Right when I cumming all in her body, Esmy walk in the door and her eyes are all wide and venom is pooling in her eyes when she sees Karlylse Cullins dick still cumming hard in Jasper butt. She didn't know they had the man slash lemons.

"Oh em gee! She yells out.

Bella swan doesn't know Esmy was their and she got scarred and jumped away from my super really big cock and feel down and cut her arm on a peace of glass on the floor.

She strated shaking really bad and I got scared!

"Bella my love what it wrong? Was my super big cock two much for you?" I say to her and kneel down on the floor next to her convulseing body.

Every one forgets about Esmy and the man slash and everey one gos to where Bella is and every1 is worried for her safety.

"She havein a seisure!" sais Caisle because he a doctor at Fork hospital and he really smart. And he sucks my cock real good. I get hard Again thinking about how Caslise sucks my cock and makes his tongue Swirl around my cock so good and hot.

In the blink of my super fast vampire eyes. Jasper is running for belle. She is bleeding, He is wants her blood! Noooo!

He tried to get to her and drained her. I know this because I see that stuff in his brain but I stop him and try to think of something to distract his from draining my betuful anjel.

"Suck my big cock Jasper Brandon" I tell him.

"What" he look to me really confused.

I say. "you hear me. Suck my cock and be hot and sexy right now."

So he got on his hot and sexy knees and I shove my cock in his throat. "oh yeah. Fuck yeah jasper Hale." I say.

Bella was still shaking On the floor and I watch her and I was very worry because she was shaking pretty bad and blood is coming out from her mouth bbut I was distracted because jAsper was sucking my big huge cock in his hot vampir mouth and it was so delishus.

All of the sudden instead of blood, some black smoke start came out of Bellas cut and time slows down because we dont knew What is going on here.

"Can't...let...out..." beLla whispered.

Just then Rosealie comes in the door and she doesn't know what is going on but neither do we. We are at a Loss. And then emytt and Alice Culln comes in the door To and no one know what is going on and Black smoke came from Bell mouth and she shook worse and worse and then alice Yell "NO!"

Just then the Volturren bust through the door!

**xxxxxxxxx**

**OMG what do them want! Why are the voltera there! Why does bella haveing black smoke come from her! **

**You're have to wate and see! Click that button and tell me how you like it and mabe I put more men slash lemmon in the next chaptr!**


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